It has been awhile

It has been awhile since I last posted. Why, because something happened?

Something happened that caused my grandmother to cry.
Something happened that caused my aunts to cry.
Something happened that caused my mother to cry.
Something happened that caused my father to cry.
My grandfather died.

I have been blogging for quite a few years now.  It started before I was even born, when a proud, soon to be, dad heard that I would be entering the world, that was when my blog first took shape.  Over the years, it has been on and off depending on what was happening in my life.  The focus of my blog has always been the same, what is happening to me as I age.  Today will be different.

You see, I have grown.  No longer the little boy who allows the world to turn around him, I have aged, learned to take stock of my situation, and evaluate it for myself.  I have grown and now realize that my parents are not invincible.  They are not these gods that feel no pain, know everything, and will live forever.  They are moral, human, and flawed.

My father, lost his father.  My father lost a man who was the spiritual center of his life.  A father, as I have am learning, is the star that guides one's life.  When your father is a good man, a good husband, a good dad, then he provides a compass for which to point the way.  A father is there to answer questions, listen to your concerns, provide a road map for life, and most of all is a friend with all the time in the world to spend with you.  Until his time runs out.

My father is sad. For so many reason.  He is sad that I will not know more about my grandfather.  He is sad, that my sister will probably never remember our grandfather.  He is sad, that in this experience we call life, that the joy that comes from holidays, birthdays, graduations, and marriage ceremonies will not be shared with grandfather.  I think most of all he is sad, because men only have a few comrades.  A chosen 1/2 dozen men that they share with, trust, and honestly embrace their company.  Of all those men, my grandfather was top of heep for my dad.  My dad could sit for hours discussing politics, religion, marriage, family, money, career, education, and life with my grandfather.  They were mirrors of one another.

My grandfather loved to talk; my father loves to visit, share, and chat with just about anyone.
My grandfather was a man always wondering about the God; my father wonders, questions, seeks, and tries to be the religious role model for us kids.
My grandfather embraced technology; my father works in technology, tries to understand it, and consults others in how to best implement it.
My grandfather was a family man; my father puts family first, above all else he makes time for my sister and I.  My father tells me work can be great, but only family is there on your last days.

Finally, my father shares the follow...

It hurts.  If hurts.  It hurts.

Your gone and it hurts.

I love you grandpa, I love you dad.

LTN (co-authored by DTN)